Do Not Grieve the Holy Spirit

Ephesians 4:30 reads, "And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption." What does it mean to "grieve the Holy Spirit of God"?

Few subjects have caused as much controversy among Christians over the years than the doctrine of the Holy Spirit. The heat of that controversy is one reason, in my opinion, that the subject is often avoided. But that evasion has not benefited the church. We should study the Spirit more, not less. That said, let's consider Ephesians 4:30.

The word “grieve” accurately translates the Greek text and means what one would expect it to mean: to cause sorrow, sadness, or distress. It’s the same word used in Mark 10:22 concerning the rich young ruler, who “went away [from Jesus] sorrowful” (ESV, emphasis added). Paul used the same word in 2 Corinthians 7:10, “For godly grief produces a repentance that leads to salvation without regret…” (emphasis added). In some contexts, the word carries a stronger sense of insulting or offending (cf. Mark 14:19). In Ephesians 4:30, either Paul is telling us not to sadden the Spirit, or not to offend him. Perhaps some combination of both ideas is intended.

Paul adds that the reason for not grieving the Holy Spirit is because “by [him] you were sealed for the day of redemption.” Let’s unpack that:

“Sealed” is a term Paul used earlier in the letter. “In him you also, when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation, and believed in him, were sealed with the promised Holy Spirit, who is the guarantee of our inheritance until we acquire possession of it, to the praise of his glory.” (1:13-14). A seal was significant in the lives of first-century people. Seals were put on documents and packages to serve as marks of ownership and authenticity. In a similar way, the indwelling of the Holy Spirit serves to remind Christians that they belong to God (cf. 1 Cor. 6:19)

This mark of ownership looks forward to “the day of redemption,” that is, the day that our salvation is complete. This is what Peter called the “salvation ready to be revealed in the last time” (1 Pet. 1:5). In this way, the Spirit is our “pledge,” that is, an earnest or down payment of a future full payment (Eph. 1:14; 2 Cor. 1:22; 5:5). It should be important to the Christian not to bring grief, sadness, or offense to the Holy Spirit because we have a special relationship with him (cf. 1 Cor. 6:20).

How might we grieve the Spirit?

The admonition not to grieve the Spirit sits right in the middle of a larger section of the letter that encourages holy conduct (4:17-32). Christians in Ephesus were to walk worthy of their calling (4:1), which meant they were not to live as unbelievers did (17). While unbelievers had given themselves over to “every kind of impurity” (19), Paul writes, “But that is not the way you learned Christ” (20). They were to have lain aside their old selves and put on new selves (22, 24). Specifically, that meant to speak truth, not lies (25), jettison sinful anger and seek reconciliation (26), stop stealing, but rather give to those in need (28), clean up their language, with a focus on building up instead of tearing down (29), and root out bitterness and the like, replacing it with kindness and other wholesome virtues (31-32).

It is in the middle of that discussion that Paul writes, “Do not grieve the Holy Spirit.” When we live lives that are unholy, we are living out of harmony with the Spirit, who is holy – and that grieves him.